Babysitter named Death
by isoner
Summary: No Buffy, but does include a Time Lord and a Freelance Peacekeeping Agent...


A Babysitter Named Death.  
  
The Doctor belongs to the BBC, last I heard, and Death's Head belongs to Marvel, although I would gladly buy him for myself, or for Simon. :) The Buffy characters belong to whoever really owns them.  
  
And now for a pointless story that doesn't go anywhere, written purely for fun, and unlikely cameos.  
  
  
  
A strange little man stood atop a metal tower, over looking Sunnydale. He really was not standing on it, so much as he was leaning over the side with only his umbrella hooked to a side rail to keep him from falling.  
  
"Professor, are you done yet?" A girl called up to him from the ground.  
  
"Not yet, Ace!" the man distractedly replied. "There was a portal here not long ago."  
  
"What was that, Professor?"  
  
"A gateway to another dimension. its been closed, but its still isn't fully sealed."  
  
"Is that good or bad?"  
  
"Well, it depends on the dimension, but from the look of the recent damage to the city, I would have to say bad. Especially since the portal can easily be opened until it finishes sealing itself," the man said, while pulling himself back onto the platform with his umbrella.  
  
"Great" she called back at him, watching him climb back down the tower. "So who do we have to stop this time?"  
  
"Us? No, this one isn't really suited to our skills. I will use a freelance to settle this one, and then we can go."  
  
"Aww. Professor. I wanted to see the new Star Wars film. It is out now, isn't it?"  
  
The little man gave his companion an exasperated look. "How about this, on our next stop, we will go and rent all six movies and watch them at once. Will that be to your tastes? Besides. popcorn is so much cheaper on the TARDIS than in the theaters. and we can rent the Lord of the Rings movies too. I want to see them again."  
  
+ + + +  
  
The man eventually found the freelance he was looking for in a bar, but not a normal bar, but one where demons acted as the main clientele.  
  
"I have no idea why I haven't killed you already, yes?"  
  
"Haven't I always helped you out?"  
  
"No. First time we met you dumped me on Earth in 8162. the deal was for your TARDIS, yes? By all rights, you should have been my next target, Doctor."  
  
"Well." "Then you dumped me again in."  
  
"You have made your point. But I did save your life from that cyborg who was after you-"  
  
"A cyborg who MAY have killed me, yes? But now everyone things it did kill me instead of some cheap mannequin that couldn't even take its hand off. Do you know how badly that will affect business when I go back?"  
  
The Doctor looked back across the table at the mechanoid, trying to look innocent and calming. "Don't worry about that, Death's Head. You know how confusing continuity can be, no one will even notice you were gone.. But there is one little thing I need you to do for me before I take you anywhere."  
  
"Business is bad here, so fine, yes? You will give me another ride in your TARDIS. who do you want me to kill?"  
  
The Doctor was often impressed by the mechanical Death's Head, it didn't seem to matter where he was, the mechanoid seemed to find a way to fit in. In the dimension where Transformers ruled supreme, he did a fine business, shrunk down he did equally well as a hired thug in every timeframe Death's Head found himself in. Even in this dimension where "normal" humans ruled while denying the existence of Vampires and other Demons, Death's Head was doing well. With his horns and metal teeth, and bad attitude, the mechanoid was taken as a demon by just about everyone.  
  
"I don't want you to kill anyone, Death's Head. Instead I need you to act as a body guard."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"The portal is closed, but until it finishes sealing itself, someone could still use the girl to open it again. I need you to protect her so that doesn't happen," the Doctor explained.  
  
"You do realize I have no idea what you are talking about, yes? And I don't care. Just tell me where she is and how long she needs to stay alive?"  
  
"Before I go on, you do realize you will need to be discrete?"  
  
"Doctor! When the money is right, I am the very soul of discretion, yes?"  
  
+ + + +  
  
Dawn raised her head at the scratching sound coming from her window, but was still too tired to convince her eyes to open.  
  
"Meow, yes?"  
  
Oh. Just Willow and Tara's Miss Kitty Fantastico. Nothing to worry about. Wait a minute. "yes?" Her eyes flew open, to reveal two glowing red eyes. Someone, no some thing was sitting in the chair at the foot of her bed. where her mom or Buffy would always sit when she was. Can't think about now. Have to do something. anything. Screaming would be good.  
  
The scratching sound again.  
  
Before Dawn could utter a sound, the thing had moved form the chair to her side and placed one hand firmly over her mouth. With his other hand, he held a finger over his mouth. "Shhhh."  
  
He then looked over at the window, and handed her the hand with the finger still raised. "Here, hold this, yes?"  
  
Reaching to his back, he grabbed a gun barrel attachment, and replaced his hand with it. "Time to go to work, yes?  
  
+ + + +  
  
"mmmm. I think the Earth just moved." Tara moaned, knowing full well the effect it would have on Willow's ego.  
  
Then she heard the explosion, and fell off the bed as the house lurched dragging the sheets with her.  
  
It took a few frantic moments for Willow and Tara to untangle themselves from the sheets and each other to get up.  
  
Gunfire. only it sounded more like a laser blast from Buck Rogers.  
  
"Dawn's room!" Tara called while running into the hallway.  
  
"Yeah.. but its Friday," Willow said distractedly, her mind was rapidly going over all the different spells she may want to use in the next few minutes.  
  
Dawn was sitting wide eyed in her bed when Willow and Tara burst into the almost empty room. The first thing that grabbed their attention was the distinct absence of the outside wall, now replaced with a large blackened hole. Next was the distinct presence of goo and assorted demon body parts that were scattered around the room.  
  
"Dawn," Willow asked, "What happened?"  
  
"Well. these demons came in, but this other metal guy had already snuck in and was fighting them off. But then, one of the demons called him a bounty hunter, and he got mad. Then he left."  
  
"Should I call the insurance company?" Tara asked.  
  
"No. better call Xander. he can get his construction crew to fix it up again. The insurance rates are high enough already."  
  
End. 


End file.
